Thursday, July 27, 2006

July 26th 2006 - San Francisco, CA, USA

I let go a big sigh of contentment. It's a beautiful morning. I woke up at 2, even before the set time of my alarm. It's barely 415 as of writing, but I feel awfully content, I just thought I'd share this feeling. That 3 hour nap yesterday really helped me out, I no longer feel weary and tired. No, extremely at ease. Nostalgic. I haven't felt this way in a while. I'm remembering summers past, I'm looking forward to going back home, watching fall start. Fall and winter, for some reason I love those two seasons in my own country. They're cold, but very nostalgic. I like nostalgia. I like the feeling I get from watching at an old, sepia-brown tinted, weathered picture. I like the feeling of listening to an old song and remembering the feelings it stirred inside of me back then and what it does for me now. I like the earth, the ground, that entire feeling my country takes on when it transitions into fall. The smell of the cold air, the sight of the trees. Coming home after a long bicycle ride or walk in that freezing, yet all so comforting and heartwarming cold. It makes me feel blessed, it makes me feel fortunate, humble, loved. It reminds me of times when that cold, warm world was the only place and friend in which I could seek refuge. Now it is one of many, but it stills offers so many things that only it can bring. Yes, I look forward to going home and seeing that friend again, amongst the others. I look forward to finally embracing it with a smile, contentment and thanking it for being there for me all these years. It's the air, the earth, the trees, it's nature. It doesn't talk, and it doesn't need to. It communicates with me in a way that words would never be able to convey, and that's alright. That is how I communicated to begin with, before and after I learned to speak. t's my sole native language, one without words. It's that language that allows me to play music. It reminds me of times when the sun was a light bulb, it reminds me of cold, cross-country train trips. It reminds me of when I got my first Kyuss record and how it changed my life. It reminds me of all the beauty in the world. The value of friendship and companionship, yet the solace in being alone. Of course, you are never alone, for even when everyone is gone, there's still the air, the earth, the trees, the water, the dirt, and the beauty. It may be hard to see sometimes, one might need to seek her out, but she's always there. And I feel humbled and blessed to be in her presence. I look forward to going home, greeting the fall, and once again revisit that nostalgia, the worn, weathered, sepia-brown photograph. Blessed be.